My words....my WORDS....they are outta' control! I said something to my daughter in law to the effect, "take your clothes off....I'm in my underwear"....what I was 'trying' to say was....close your eyes....I'm in my underwear! Oy vey!
Every day....every hour....every minute....I screw up! If I'm trying to talk too fast....a word every two/three seconds....that's too fast! I try to be deliberate in terms of putting words together and making sense out of it. If I don't, people look at me, and just smile. They don't laugh at me....or cry....they just smile!
My hope, and prayer is....words will come back. Not as obvious to me....but to other people, friends, family, after time goes bye, they think I'm doing better.
I don't know that my speech pattern will ever go back to the pre-stroke words....probably better anyway! I talked way to fast before my stroke....and I wished that I could slow down....well....I took care of it!
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Literally Hangin' Out
February 2011 my bride and I were invited to a 'get together' with friends from my previous 'work' place. Probably only 15 to 20 people there....but my oh my....it was great to see and to listen people talk!
There were friends there that had been there 28 years before. Audrey, Cleo, Carol were so nice to see that night! Anita, Karl, Todd, Lori....close friends for many years....very touching. Lisa, Christine....over the top....just some of the most favorite friends of all time! We left western Wisconsin 10 years before....and I was really happy to be back!
Everybody 'tried' to talk with me....and I listened....but didn't talk back much. The words I would want to say....I couldn't begin to get it out of my mouth. I have learned to be a much better 'listener' than I've ever been before. And sometime....when I do try to say something....I REALLY screw it up!
Time goes on....and everyone knows that! But time....just escapes me.
"How did it get so late so soon?" - Dr. Seuss
There were friends there that had been there 28 years before. Audrey, Cleo, Carol were so nice to see that night! Anita, Karl, Todd, Lori....close friends for many years....very touching. Lisa, Christine....over the top....just some of the most favorite friends of all time! We left western Wisconsin 10 years before....and I was really happy to be back!
Everybody 'tried' to talk with me....and I listened....but didn't talk back much. The words I would want to say....I couldn't begin to get it out of my mouth. I have learned to be a much better 'listener' than I've ever been before. And sometime....when I do try to say something....I REALLY screw it up!
Time goes on....and everyone knows that! But time....just escapes me.
"How did it get so late so soon?" - Dr. Seuss
Monday, January 12, 2015
My Left Brain - Springtime 2011
There isn't a day that goes by when I ask why? My right leg, my right arm, the fuzzy feeling on the right side of my body. The right side of my head....top of my head (right side), my ear, my face, the right side of my neck....all fuzzy! My shoulder, my chest, my stomach, my hip, my gluteus maximus (right side)....always feel fuzzy. My nose, my lips, my eye....my eye....feels fuzzy all the time! And all because my left brain shut down. Mind you....I'm not complain' Lucy....just askin' why?
I can't carry on with a normal conversation. There are hundreds of words....nah....thousands....that just escape my brain....or at least my mouth! My brain....this is scary....but I see....see....the words! I don't how to use them. I mean, I know what I what to say, but there are little words.... the Articles - a, an, and the - are adjectives. Why can't I pull an adjective out?
Now I'm really getting excited about 'The Wedding'! August 13, 2011....a wedding! Scared....no....really petrified in terms of just putting words out of my mouth....but right now....excited! I have written everything out. I have highlighted different words, sentences and paragraph....in different colors. Yellow to be reflective (adjective....that's good, huh?), pink to be excited, purple to be funny....and green to pray, and orange to be serious. My speech therapist said I should read/say in front of her....mmmmm....I'll have to see about that!
I can't carry on with a normal conversation. There are hundreds of words....nah....thousands....that just escape my brain....or at least my mouth! My brain....this is scary....but I see....see....the words! I don't how to use them. I mean, I know what I what to say, but there are little words.... the Articles - a, an, and the - are adjectives. Why can't I pull an adjective out?
Now I'm really getting excited about 'The Wedding'! August 13, 2011....a wedding! Scared....no....really petrified in terms of just putting words out of my mouth....but right now....excited! I have written everything out. I have highlighted different words, sentences and paragraph....in different colors. Yellow to be reflective (adjective....that's good, huh?), pink to be excited, purple to be funny....and green to pray, and orange to be serious. My speech therapist said I should read/say in front of her....mmmmm....I'll have to see about that!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
A Wedding
After I came home (the second time) from Rochester I had a beautiful young woman ask me to marry her.....and her beau! Man.....it was so cool to have someone ask me to marry them.....but how? I had to get my 'marryin' people together' kinda' guy license!
Back to the beautiful young woman. It was a very cold night in western Wisconsin.....and I didn't know it was going to happen! Before my wife and I left to go back home, she ask me if I would marry her and her beau. Well.....I started to say yes, but first, I started to cry! Again.....I'm a cry baby! I used to be a tough kinda' man.....but not anymore!
I went 'online' and discovered how I could get my 'marryin' people' degree! Well.....after doing everything that I needed to do.....I called the State of Wisconsin and they said....."$35 and fill out the form.....and they're married". That's it? I didn't have to take all the whatever I took.....online? They said "if you want to say you're a reverend.....you're a reverend"! Well.....I would have preferred a pastor.....or a priest.....but I thought that would be disingenuous.....reverend it is!
It took me a while to put everything into words.....as it does to this day! When I write..... I think it makes more sense than if someone were having a conversation with me. My mind works fast.....but my words are 'oh.....so.....slow'!
The wedding.....in August.....I can hardly wait!
Back to the beautiful young woman. It was a very cold night in western Wisconsin.....and I didn't know it was going to happen! Before my wife and I left to go back home, she ask me if I would marry her and her beau. Well.....I started to say yes, but first, I started to cry! Again.....I'm a cry baby! I used to be a tough kinda' man.....but not anymore!
I went 'online' and discovered how I could get my 'marryin' people' degree! Well.....after doing everything that I needed to do.....I called the State of Wisconsin and they said....."$35 and fill out the form.....and they're married". That's it? I didn't have to take all the whatever I took.....online? They said "if you want to say you're a reverend.....you're a reverend"! Well.....I would have preferred a pastor.....or a priest.....but I thought that would be disingenuous.....reverend it is!
It took me a while to put everything into words.....as it does to this day! When I write..... I think it makes more sense than if someone were having a conversation with me. My mind works fast.....but my words are 'oh.....so.....slow'!
The wedding.....in August.....I can hardly wait!
Friday, December 26, 2014
Super Bowl 2011 Green Bay vs Pittsburgh
Every now and then....I have to go to see my Doc in Rochester. On this day my heart rate was WAY up....and the Doc said "we're gonna' keep you here a day or two" (Monday, 31st of January). I didn't get to come home until AFTER the Super Bowl was over!
My heart was the problem! In December 2007 I went to get my physical. Probably after four or five minutes....listening to my doctor saying, mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm, and finally asked me "did you run a marathon on the way over to the office?" I said, of course, no! He said "your heart rate is 155....can you feel it?" I couldn't feel it....at least, I didn't think so. So after I spent a week in the hospital (Sparrow, Lansing, MI)....and met a new friend (cardiologist)....I was set up to have an ablation on my heart around the first week of May 2008.
I went down to Sinai Grace Hospital in Detroit, located on 7 Mile Rd., not 8 Mile...but 7 Mile....closer to center of the city. The hospital is known for a lot....and it's number one in trauma....based on everything including guns....a rough place in Detroit! They also have an incredible staff there that is out of site!
I went to a specialist....and he said that I had atrial flutter....and that's what I was scheduled for! My 'Lansing' cardiologist said he thought I had atrial fibrillation....but he deferred to the Sinai doc. Once I got 'under' the knife....my heart went into atrial fibrillation. At that point that's all the Sinai doctor could do. He said it would take an additional six or seven hours to do it (fibrillation). My heart was fixed as well as they could do it. After that....they said they would watch my heart closely....and they did!
I had an appointment in Detroit on the 22nd of December in 2010....a month and change after my massive stroke in La Crosse Wisconsin....oops!
The Mayo doctors and the staff got my heart under control....and set me up to get the ablation in May/June....I honestly can't wait!
On a side note: Super Bowl XLV....my in-laws are from Pittsburgh....and I HATE Green Bay....but consider the Steelers have won six SB....and none for Detroit....I obviously pulled for the Packers!
My heart was the problem! In December 2007 I went to get my physical. Probably after four or five minutes....listening to my doctor saying, mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm, and finally asked me "did you run a marathon on the way over to the office?" I said, of course, no! He said "your heart rate is 155....can you feel it?" I couldn't feel it....at least, I didn't think so. So after I spent a week in the hospital (Sparrow, Lansing, MI)....and met a new friend (cardiologist)....I was set up to have an ablation on my heart around the first week of May 2008.
I went down to Sinai Grace Hospital in Detroit, located on 7 Mile Rd., not 8 Mile...but 7 Mile....closer to center of the city. The hospital is known for a lot....and it's number one in trauma....based on everything including guns....a rough place in Detroit! They also have an incredible staff there that is out of site!
I went to a specialist....and he said that I had atrial flutter....and that's what I was scheduled for! My 'Lansing' cardiologist said he thought I had atrial fibrillation....but he deferred to the Sinai doc. Once I got 'under' the knife....my heart went into atrial fibrillation. At that point that's all the Sinai doctor could do. He said it would take an additional six or seven hours to do it (fibrillation). My heart was fixed as well as they could do it. After that....they said they would watch my heart closely....and they did!
I had an appointment in Detroit on the 22nd of December in 2010....a month and change after my massive stroke in La Crosse Wisconsin....oops!
The Mayo doctors and the staff got my heart under control....and set me up to get the ablation in May/June....I honestly can't wait!
On a side note: Super Bowl XLV....my in-laws are from Pittsburgh....and I HATE Green Bay....but consider the Steelers have won six SB....and none for Detroit....I obviously pulled for the Packers!
Friday, December 19, 2014
It's 'Oh So Close'
December 29, 2010....I'm going home! Can't believe it...they're discharging me!
They asked me did I have any questions??? One or two I guess....that was it....two for sure, "can I have coffee?" I really like strong coffee....the color of night. They said that was OK....decaf....12 ounces per day. I have to limit how much sodium I have per day....and I have to avoid any 'greens' in my diet. Also I should limit how much I drink per day. No more than 24/32 ounces of water per day. If I want orange/grape/grapefruit juice....8 ounces per day. And many others regarding limits....so, so sad....but get on with it, and enjoy life!
Even before we went to our home....we had to get a wheel chair. We stopped downtown across the Mayo Clinic in LaCrosse. They set me up big time!
First things first when I got home. My wife had the frame under our bed removed. It's a king size bed....probably three feet off the ground....and she didn't want me to fall to far getting in the bed....or out! Every time I had to use the bathroom....day or night....my wife wanted me to wake her up....or 'ring' the bell she put beside our bed (typically BS....before stroke....I was in bed before my wife would go to bed). She would put the wheel chair beside the bed....'help' me get out off the bed....into the wheel chair....and go to the bathroom. About eight feet away....and it would at least take five/eight minutes to go through all that....just to get to the bathroom....wow!
They asked me did I have any questions??? One or two I guess....that was it....two for sure, "can I have coffee?" I really like strong coffee....the color of night. They said that was OK....decaf....12 ounces per day. I have to limit how much sodium I have per day....and I have to avoid any 'greens' in my diet. Also I should limit how much I drink per day. No more than 24/32 ounces of water per day. If I want orange/grape/grapefruit juice....8 ounces per day. And many others regarding limits....so, so sad....but get on with it, and enjoy life!
Even before we went to our home....we had to get a wheel chair. We stopped downtown across the Mayo Clinic in LaCrosse. They set me up big time!
First things first when I got home. My wife had the frame under our bed removed. It's a king size bed....probably three feet off the ground....and she didn't want me to fall to far getting in the bed....or out! Every time I had to use the bathroom....day or night....my wife wanted me to wake her up....or 'ring' the bell she put beside our bed (typically BS....before stroke....I was in bed before my wife would go to bed). She would put the wheel chair beside the bed....'help' me get out off the bed....into the wheel chair....and go to the bathroom. About eight feet away....and it would at least take five/eight minutes to go through all that....just to get to the bathroom....wow!
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Christmas 2010
Christmas 2010....my family came to Rochester to celebrate Christmas....on the 25th of December....how about that? My daughter....my son in law....their four (at that time) beautiful children, all boys, my son and daughter in law....and my wife! They arranged to pick me up....and my wheelchair....and rescued me from the hospital on Christmas day!
Before we went back to their hotel room we stopped and met up with great friends and their family. My friend (Roger) has been a close friend over the last 25+ years....and at that time....he was my boss! More to come about Roger!
Within the next week I would be released from the hospital! I get to go home? Who will take care of me (do I really need anybody to care for me)? Will I ever return to Rochester? We'll see!
Before we went back to their hotel room we stopped and met up with great friends and their family. My friend (Roger) has been a close friend over the last 25+ years....and at that time....he was my boss! More to come about Roger!
Within the next week I would be released from the hospital! I get to go home? Who will take care of me (do I really need anybody to care for me)? Will I ever return to Rochester? We'll see!
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